Full marriage
by Chelsieobsessed1980
Summary: Long story short: In this tale, I'm going to analyze two different point of views of full marriage concept-Charles's and Elsie's. I hope you will enjoy it a bit. If so, please let me know...Thanks for all the support you gave me so far.
1. Chapter 1

**FULL MARRIAGE**

**Welcome all the faithful Chelsie shippers. Because I'm going through some real changes in my life now, I fear that I will not have much time for fanfictions in the near future, which saddens me a lot. So as a way of saying goodbye (for now), I decided to write this one shot, that's been on my mind for a while, but was still put aside because of new ideas constantly popping in my mind. **

**Long story short: In this tale, I'm going to analyze two different point of views of full marriage concept-Charles's and Elsie's. I hope you will enjoy it a bit. If so, please let me know...Thanks for all the support you gave me so far.**

**Legal note: Don't own the characters and don't have any financial advantages from them. The only advantage they gave me is to survive every day struggles.**

**Full marriage-Charles's POV**

Could he imagine that it would be like this? No, he couldn't. Often during his years together with Elsie, as just his colleague, he sometimes let his mind wonder how it would be like to live with her as husband and wife. How it would be to see her in the morning, when she wakes up, with her eyes full of sleep, with tangled hair and a coy smile? How would it be to have breakfast with her in the fade light of the morning, sipping coffee, watching as she is trying to switch from the sleep mode to day mode (he knew how much she liked to sleep). How would it feel to walk with her, holding her arm, to the Abbey, to face their every day duties, face them together, united. As a team. Professional team and private team, at the same time. How would it feel to be surrounded by the same group of people, that they were surrounded for such a long time and what their reactions would be for the fact that they would be married? How would it feel to walk back in the night with her, to their cottage, to close the door behind them and to separate themselves from the rest of the world. To light a fire, have some tea and sit on the sofa, enjoying the leisure time after a long day of work. Talking, being close. How would it feel to have the right to take her upstairs at night time, to their bed and...

That was always the moment when his thoughts had to stop. He couldn't let himself take those thoughts further. After all, Charles Carson has spent his entire life, subordinated to the rules. The rules of behavior. He had mastered in this area. He knew how to behave properly when he was serving dinner to the family, he knew how to behave downstairs-using the authority given to him, towards his subordinates. He knew all those rules. And he was also aware that even his own, private thoughts, his wildest desires and imaginings had to be proper. He couldn't let himself go to far. It would be a sign of disrespect to this remarkable Lady-Elsie May Hughes. She wasn't born an aristocrat, but in his eyes she was always a Lady. Because starting from the first day that they were working together, she has never behaved improperly. In his mind she was always a personification of grace, beauty and strength. How could he possibly think of her in any other way? At least not in the day time. During day time there wasn't much time for thoughts of that kind. Tons of responsibilities and duties that he was carrying, didn't let him get carried away in such thoughts. But then, there were also nights. There were nights when he slept so hard, that any thoughts didn't disturb him at all. But there were also nights when he had problem with falling asleep, nights when his mind drifted to forbidden areas. Those nights usually happen after his quiet evenings with Elsie and Sherry, when all the others have gone to sleep. When they were sitting very close to each other, when he was charmed by the sight of the woman sitting by his side. When he was enchanted with her voice (that Scottish accent and her lilt was enough to drove a man wild), when he was intoxicated with her smell. No doubt those night were the hardest. Nights when he forgot about the butler inside him and let the man replace it. The quiet urges of man, that could never be revealed to the world or to her above all, were eating him inside. The loneliness of the servants life was difficult to bear at times. The simple need of the presence of another human being, the craving for someone's touch were human. The burning need of love growing inside him seemed to be unbearable. Sometimes when he thought that his imaginings went too far, he promised himself that he will stop thinking about her for the next few days. He got up in the morning, fixed with this idea and then she came downstairs, with her radiant smile, sparkling eyes, milky, alabaster skin, appealing scent and he was lost again. So he let his imagination free and so it went on and on, for many years.

Yet now it was all a past. Now she was his reality. And this reality was far better than any dreams that he had ever experienced through the years. Earlier he was waking in the morning in his small bed, in the cold attic, refreshed (or not) after a night rest and he thought that another difficult day begins. Another lonely, long day of work, with nothing to look forward to. Now he was waking in a lovely cottage, in his cozy bedroom, with a bed much better suited for his size, warmed by the beautiful creature, who was lying next to him, nestled into him and even when she was not, he made sure that she did. How wonderful it was to see her right after he opened his eyes, to enjoy the beautiful and peaceful view of his sleeping wife, to wake her up with sweet kisses, when she was hesitating to get up, to start a new day.

He could have never imagined how differently it would be to have a breakfast with her. Just the two of them, alone. Slowly sipping coffee. How adorable it felt to see her caring for him, making sure that he has all his favorite breakfast stuff around him. Delicious coffee, hot toasts carefully buttered by his wife and her warm smile, full of love, were enough for him to fly in the wings of happiness from the very beginning of the day.

With Elsie, even such an ordinary thing as a short walk from their cottage to the house was something to look forward to. All the surroundings, the beauty of nature was so much better when he could share it with her. Her eternal affection for life became infectious.

Days were still long and full of duties, but it was different now. He couldn't even count how many times did she surprised him, during especially tiring days, by bringing him a coffee or a piece of an apple pie, smuggled from Mrs. Patmore's kitchen. How many times she has appeared in a time of crisis, when his anger or his dissatisfaction were about to gain control over him. But then she came, always finding a right words to soothe him, treating him with a tiny, but the sweetest kiss and suddenly everything was all right again. He often wondered how that was possible, that she always knew when to enter and prevent a disaster. It must have been some sixth sense of her, inherited by her Gaelic ancestors. Elsie always knew how to change a storm into a sunny day again.

Their meals together, during the day were not so dull as before, because now his beloved women was always by his side. Of course she was there before too, but somehow it was different now.

When the day ended and they walked back to the cottage, he found a great relief in telling her about the day's ups and downs and he knew that even though she was also very tired, she always listened to him carefully, she always advised him how to solve minor or major problems, how to make thins look better.

The evenings was his favorite part of the day now. Because they were finally alone, with no interruptions. All those years that they spent together in the Abbey, sharing their thoughts and worries, in his pantry or her sitting room were wonderful, but they always had to remember that there can be an unexpected interruption. Most probably in their special moments. Here, in the cottage, there was no such things. They could finally enjoyed their company to the fullest. A fire, a tea, some biscuits and the comfortable sofa. Just as in his dreams that he had for all those years. But a lot better, because his beloved woman, his most precious treasure, was so unimaginably close to him. They both missed this closeness all day, and by night time there were no factors that could stop them from sharing this closeness.

When the night fell and they finally went to their bedroom, the magic part began. When they were not married, he had to stop and restrained himself from his dreams, but now everything was allowed. Finally, after all the anticipation, he could have filled his arms with her, he could have showered her with an infinity of kisses. He could have enjoyed her milky and velvet skin, under the pad of his fingers and a touch of his lips. He could have fully discovered every inch of her incredible body and learnt what he should do to make her go over the edge. To elicit sighs, pants and moans, coming from her beautiful mouth-the sounds that made him feel so proud, so manly and so invincible. He loved that sounds, he loved how sometimes she seemed to lost control completely, saying things that she would have never find a courage to say in the light of the day, he loved how she begged for more, how she clinge to him, asking him not to stop. Asking him to let her stay in her own, private paradise. He was always very caring and precise at his job and he used all his efforts to be the same in the quiet little space of their bedroom, making his wife incredibly happy and satisfied. He wanted to give her everything that she has given him and more...And he did...

When the throes of passion ended and they lied together, spent, but incredibly happy, whispering sweet words into their ears, bestowing themselves with sweet, little caresses like delicate kisses placed into her hair, or soft kisses placed into his chest.

When Elsie felt asleep in his arms, rocked gently by him, he watched her, thinking that this was the best thing that has ever happened to him. That he would have given all his life so far, for those sweet months that they spent together, married. Slowly falling asleep, his last thought was that this was life. This was marriage. Full marriage indeed...

**So that's Charles POV. This is how I see his thoughts on the full marriage thing. This was meant to be one shot, but of course I still have to present Elsie's point of view, so another chapter will be posted tomorrow. I thought I will finish the whole story today, but apparently Charles's thoughts lasted longer than I thought ;-) I hope you liked this one. Sorry for any mistakes and reviews are always welcome. See you tomorrow!**


	2. Chapter 2

**FULL MARRIAGE-PART 2**

**Hello all. I want to thank you for all the lovely reviews that I received after first chapter. It's so nice to know that some of you are really enjoying my work. Special thanks to my faithful readers and also to the guests, who leave their reviews and I can't reply and thank them personally, because this page does not allow it. As I mentioned yesterday, the second chapter will present Elsie's point of view for the idea of full marriage. I know that it is going to be more difficult to write, because from some reason (I'm still not exactly sure why), it's always easier for me to write about Charles's feelings than about Elsie's feelings. All of you who have written some Chelsie stories may know something about it...Anyway I hope that the second chapter will not dissapoint you too much.**

**Full marriage-Elsie's POV**

Could she imagine that it would be like this? No, she couldn't. Even though they have known each other for over twenty years, she would have never think that a woman like her-strong, independent, free thinking, could entrust her life to one man entirely. During their mutual years of faithful service to the house of Crawleys, they have experienced many different events. Happy events, sad events, surprising events. There were many ordinary days, that were so similar to each other, than it was difficult to distinguish one from the other. There were joyful days, when weddings happened, babies were born or Christmas celebrations took place. They were always celebrating it together. Together but apart, as they have never crossed that forbidden line of getting to close to each other during the years, in spite of the fact that they both wanted to. There were also sad days, days which brought terrible news, days which were so exhausting, that Elsie thought that she won't be able to handle anything else. Those were the days when she was on a brink of a breakdown. Those were the days when she wondered what he would do if she just simply went to his pantry, close the door behind her and sit near him, asking him to hold her. How he would react? Would he reject her? Scolded her for being sentimental, like he once did? Would he made some kind of speech about rules that cannot be broken? She didn't know that, because Charles Carson was not an easy man to read. A man of mistery, who had never wore his heart on a sleeve. Actually the first time she ever saw some shadow of humanity in him, was when she heard him singing, after he learnt that she didn't have cancer. But even after this, she wasn't sure if he felt something for her. Yet she still wondered. How it would feel to be held by him? How it would be like to feel his lips on hers and his hands on her body? Would he be eager to be so close to her, as she was to be close to him? Did he have any desires, like any other men? Or was his world closed to that kind of emotions?

Sometimes she just wanted to elicit any feelings from him, to shake his orderly life upside down. But she never did. Even when they spent those lovely evenings with Sherry, that she always longed for, there was rarely any sign from him, indicating that he has any deeper feelings towards her. Well maybe except that day when he told her that he decided to move to Haxby and asked her if she would miss him. She shivered when she remembered that moment. That was a breaking point, the moment when she was sure that he could read all her feelings, they must have been written all over her face when she answered. With her answer she has almost revealed the deep of her love for him and she was impatient to hear what will he say to that? Will this cause the explosion of their hidden love? It didn't...That night she went to bed feeling restless, unfulfilled. She laid in her bed, wide awake, with wild thoughts tormenting her mind. Burning feelings were dancing inside her. She let herself go deep inside her wildest fantasies that night. At one point, she was ready to go to his room in the middle of the night and ask him to stay, to love her. But she didn't. The proper housekeeper in her wouldn't let her do it. Wouldn't let her womanhood to get outside. So she stayed in her room and the next day everything went back to normal. And so it went on and on for many long years. Until he proposed, they got married and everything has changed.

Her whole life was so different now. She wasn't waking up in the small, attic room, feeling cold penetrating her body. Instead, she was waking in her husbands strong arms, feeling loved and secure.

Her morning routines were not a torture as before, because she knew that another day won't be just an ordinary one, full of work and responsibility. Because in spite all of this, she will have her Charles by her side. Her Charles. She still couldn't believe that she can call him that. So much time she wanted him to be hers, but he was so distant and now he belonged to her. Sometimes she had to reassured herself that he belongs to her. When they were walking to the Abbey in the morning, she often grabbed his arm tighter, just to make sure that he is there, with her. That he is by her side, as her husband and that she has every right to be near him.

No doubt that he was a man full of surprises. He was still strict and proper, in every way possible. Especially in the house, in the presence of the other servants. He still called her Mrs Hughes in front of everyone and acted aloof in the official situations. But at the same time, he could surprise her, visiting her in her sitting room, in the middle of a working day, bringing her the favorite tea and giving her loving kisses and whispering few sweet words into her ear. In those moments the heat momentarily arise within her. Of course he was always careful and didn't allow anyone to discover that, but that made those moments more thrilling...

Sometimes when she had a really bad day and she thought that it won't be possible to survive, he was there, near her, telling her that he will do this and that for her, just to let things easier. His eyes were worried every time he saw that she is overtired and he tried not to let that kind of situation happened.

She adored the moment when the evening come and they were quietly escaping to their adorable cottage, to have a dinner together, prepared by Mrs Patmore usually. After surviving the cooking mess from the beginning of their marriage, neither of them wished to repeat those difficult experiences.

When they were walking home, side by side, she felt so fulfilled, so complete. Having her man by her side. Protecting her from cold and darkness and all the possible bad things that could have happened to her. The evenings were definitely the best part. They didn't need anyone else besides themselves. God knows that they were surrounded with other people enough during the day. They didn't need much. Just a fire in the fireplace. Hot tea, a sofa and their arms. When he held her so close, Elsie thought that she had never in her whole life felt so loved by anyone. And that she had never loved anyone so much as she did Charles. Some evenings when the fire was joyfully burning in the fireplace and she went to the kitchen to prepare tea, she found him fell asleep on the sofa, by the time she returned with a tray. That sight has always made her heart flooded with love. She covered him gently with a blanket, she brushed away that errant curl from his forehead and covered his face with tender kisses. It often turned out that he wasn't quite asleep yet and he grabbed her in his arms and kissed her passionately in return. Happiness seemed to spill over inside her then. No job in the world, no professional position could have been compared with the love for her husband. She has longed so much time to have him and now he was entirely hers and she wasn't let him going anywhere.

The nights were so much different for Elsie now. The experience of living as closely as two people can, was the best thing that she could have expected. She barely even remember why she was so afraid of that part of marriage. Her doubts of being a dissappointment to him, the way she was now, were swiftly put aside after their first night together. When she saw they way he looked at her, with loving and adoring eyes, when she could see (very clearly in fact), the effect that her body had on him, she knew that she made the right decision. They have managed to overcome the initial shyness. Now intimate things between them were so natural, so casual, as every other thing. In the beginning she wasn't sure what to do, how to behave, being with him, which was totally understandable giving her lack of experience. But now she was a willing participant of their love making. She wanted this as much as he did. She wanted him, his body, was determined to give him pleasure. At first she was uncertain if some of her bedroom actions won't make him think less of her, to find her wanton. But he swiftly allay her doubts, reassuring her that all her actions towards him are welcome. When she understood that and found out what that does to him, what she does to him, she felt proud. Proud that even the woman in the late middle ages, can still make a man go over the moon. She was so incredibly happy every time she noticed his blissful face expression, sweet and tender words, whispered into her ear. The enormity of pleasure that she was giving him was not enough for her. She wanted to give him everything and even more...The things they shared in the privacy of their own bedroom outdone all the wildest fantasies that she had in the past. She had never suspected that she can not only love her man that much, but also want him that much. That his body, which was unavailable to her and covered with layers of clothes for so many years, will hide so many secrets, so many hidden spots, that she could discovered and adored. And as the time passed, she was more than willing to learn and discover more and more. She wanted to be a passionate wife and she was.

After every of their wonderful intercourse, she nestled into the strong, massive body of her glorious husband and she gently drifted off to sleep, thinking that this was life. This was marriage. A full marriage indeed.

**So that's my take on Elsie's vision of full marriage. It wasn't easy to write. I still have to figure out why it's so much easier to write about Charles's feelings, although reading a lot of wonderful fanfictions on this site, I know that many other authors have the same problem. They either prefer to write about Elsie or Charles. Must be some kind of writer's fixation ;-) I hope you liked it a bit. Sorry for any mistakes. I try to correct them, but my English is not perfect and I know it. I'm not able to tell you when I will write something again, but I hope that we will meet again for some time.**

**See you again, I hope!**


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